The Good
Yesterday we got our Article 5!!
For those of you not in the adoption world, it means....I'm not sure what! lol
This process is sooo confusing with a lot of formality and red tape, that I get confused on which step means what. LOL Sorry, I'm a bad adoptive momma for not knowing, but I DO KNOW it means I am ONE STEP CLOSER!
And....we are officially in our TRAVEL APPROVAL WAIT!! (aka- TA wait)
We should get our TA within "1.5 - 3 weeks," but the trend lately has been more like one week! eeeeek! Someone this week even got it within 3 days....3 DAYS! The reason this is even more exciting to our family, is we HAVE to get TA before CNY (Chinese New Year)....which is officially February 19th...but the government offices also take off for President's Day, so we have a little less than 2 weeks to get our TA....Fingers Crossed! But it is a definite possibility that we will have it by next week.....Soooo exciting!
Once we get TA, we wait 1-3 (but it is usually the next day) to get our Consulate Appointment (CA) in China. Once we have that, we know our travel dates and our travel group and usually would leave in about a week or so, but for us with CNY, it will be about 2.5 weeks before travel (which I hate to wait - but it is out of our control- but will hopefully help us getting more affordable plane tickets - trying to look at the bright side here).
Anyway - exciting stuff!!
The Bad
**Disclaimer - I hate to put this in the "bad" category, because I REALLY should be grateful....and I AM....just sad too....you'll see what I mean. I'm seeing my cup half empty this morning and need an attitude adjustment, as my momma would say....**
Kristi and mom got to go to Kensley's orphanage yesterday....they drove 2 hours (one way - with a non-English speaking taxi driver and only 3 little notes that said they had to use the restroom, needed to eat, and the hotel address- truly an ADVENTURE!) to see where my little girl has been living for the past 10 months, and hopefully catch a glimpse of her.....
According to Haugue adoption rules, families are not allowed to get "updates" on their child except thru the orphanage, and their agency. I am POSITIVE there are a lot of good reasons this law is in place and they have been doing international adoptions for years and I'm sure have good reasons behind this policy...it is to protect the children and keep them safe. Which I am all for. Except when it comes to MY girl.... :)
Different orphanages and agencies follow this rule to different degrees....some let you send packages, some don't. Some let you pay someone to go to the orphanage and take videos/pic of your child, some don't. Some let you send video updates, some don't. Some let other people in county come visit your child, some don't.
It's all in how you interpret the word "update."
We knew before they went that they probably wouldn't get to see her. We knew there was a chance they wouldn't. But, I thought they'd say something like - "I'm sorry! It's against haugue policy for us to let you see your niece before the adoption. I wish we could, but we have to follow policy to protect all children. Kensley is doing great though, she is in the Nemo room and wearing purple today. I wish I could let you see her, she is actually right down that hall. If you needed to go to the restroom before the rest of the tour, the bathroom is down that hall....and I will wait right here for you..."
But they didn't. No pictures. No glances at her across the room. NO NOTHING. Yes, I should be grateful, they saw the facilities and they are superb as far as an orphanage goes. If I had to choose one, I would choose Maria's. We are very, very grateful she is there....but the thought of my momma and my sister going and giving her snuggles and whisper "momma's coming" in her ear when I can't be there just brings tears to my eyes....
THEY WERE IN HER BUILDING, HALF WAY ACROSS THE WORLD, AND DIDN"T GET TO SEE HER!
Sigh. I'll admit, I cried. Hard. Like the ugly cry....(so maybe this should have been in the ugly category...because it was not a pretty sight. lol)
The "Other" Bad
The other bad is that she was in the medical ward.
I guess, if I would have thought, and yes my mind has wondered there, that that would make sense that she is medically fragile if she can't even be laid down for fear of aspiration. That makes sense....but I just hadn't thought of her in that way....and it made me sad. Sad that she is there alone....sad her family is not with her....and a little more scared about messing up....
I'm chanting in my head...."I can be a turkey, I can be a turkey" LOL If you don't know why I'm talking about poultry, read my turkey post....
The words "medical unit" just made it all a little more intense.....
Is there a pediatrian or a pediatric nurse that has a couple weeks off, a couple thousand dollars, and want to go to China with us? I asked Dr. Hudson, and he laughed....I'm thinking that was a no....
The Ugly
I'm stressed. Sooooo stressed. Can't sleep at night stressed. Wake up at 4 am stressed. Don't even want to eat stressed! (ok, we know it's getting BAD when I get here folks!) My shoulders and neck are always tense and hurting...I have to remind myself to relax my muscles....I know I have been this stressed before, like when mom was soooo sick, but I am having a hard time remembering being THIS stressed.
My to do list:
*pack for 4 people for a 3 week international trip, in 4 carrryons, and one checked bag.
*pack my meds. le sigh. STRESS-FUL. I'm sure they have insulin in China. I'm sure they don't have exactly what I take, and POSITIVE they don't have my insulin pump supplies. Since I depend on them to live, it stresses me out....
*Finish the baby's room. Yep, not done.
*Get my house ready for baby (like, place for me to change her propped up, place for her to sleep by me, but propped up, with a place for the tube feed pump)
*RESA & SLO (for those not in the teaching field, these are year long teacher educ "stuff," that take hours and hours...and are usually due by the end of the year...but I will be home with baby, so.....due now!
*Plane tickets, arrange part of the travel
*Lesson plans - until the end of the year. Complete with supply lists for each lesson, and procurement information....including study guides for their standardized tests they need to graduate with their certificates. Stressful for me, stressful for my students. And I feel guilty for leaving them....So basically 3 months of planning needs to be done before I leave....sigh.
*Beginning of school stuff....advisory board, procurement lists, etc. LOTS of work stress.
*Kara Jo's birthday and party - I don't want this to "suffer" bc of the new baby
*Rio - I am still taking classes, but will be done in May. Luckily, he is letting me miss my March classes, but I need to have ALL assignments for ALL semester done before I go....
*Prepare "stuff" at home....find someone to house sit, feed the dogs, cats, horses, mail, etc, etc, etc.....
*Finish adoption "stuff" (paperwork, payments, blah blah blah)
Anyway....I'm sure this is not all, but it's all that's on the top of the list that is always churning in my mind.....I'm crazy stressed and HOPING to get some things checked off soon. That would make me feel a lot better....but a lot of it won't get done until right before we go....which I don't like. LOL
So please pray for me....
Pray that I'm not a mean, grumpy person and that I can enjoy this last month, and not be mean to my husband and kiddos, and that my students at school don't think I've lost my mind and am having a nervous break down....at least until I get my girl. he he he....did you here that?? GET MY GIRL!!
It's almost time....and I sat many many times thinking this time would never come...and it's ALMOST here.....
I'm humbled, and excited, and overwhelmed....
Say a prayer for me today, and I will be in your debt. A good night's sleep and some relaxation are what I need. But ain't nobody got time for that!!
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